home, home on the range

Where the cows and the horses do play? Hmmmm, that sounds wrong somehow. But i'm there, home, in the very near vicinity of fields full of the things! Isn't their stink wonderful? "It keeps the lungs healthy," my Grandad used to say, and perhaps more worryingly, when we kids complained loudly about the stink as we drove through the country, "It'll put hairs on your chest."

With that frightening possibility in mind, I didn't moan about the eau de perfume of cattle, sheep, pigs, horses, the odd elephant and a mountain lion, as myself and my aunty drove up to Belfast to pick up our American friends for a day of castle touring, and of course, the obligatory shopping. We've known the dad for about 10 years, but this was the first time i'd met his daughter. She's the quietest 14-year-old i've ever met. She didn't say boo to a goose, although that's hardly surprising, as we don't usually carry geese in the car with us.

So off we trooped, to Carrick Fergus castle. Being slightly more mature than when I was 8, and last there, I was actually able to appreciate some of the history behind the place. So here goes.

It was built in 1190 by John De Coursey, about 10 years after the Normans started building them all over Ireland. As far as I can remember, the Normans were the first to conquer us. Up until that point, all would be overthrowers had glanced across the Irish sea, and thought, "sod this. It's too cold and rainy over there." Sensible people, I say. But, here came those weather tough Normans, and they got us. King John, 20 years later, decided he didn't like the position of the castle, as it guarded the seas too well. So he sent irl De Lacy over to "sort out the boys". De Lacy took one look at the place, and liked it so much he made himself at home. After 20 years, the king wondered why he didn't come back. Old kingy was a bit slow if it took him that long to realise his plans hadn't, if you'll pardon the lame and cheesy punn, gone to plan!
Edward De Bruce was the next person to take it over, but only after a long siege which saw the inhabitants of the castle forced to eating those of De Bruce's men they managed to trap. They fled in the end, leaving the castle for De Bruce. After that, it's not really clear what happened. The videos that showed us all this were made for kids, and were woefully lacking in detail. But, to this day, the castle stands. I had a real good look at it all, and even climbed into a crevace in one of the walls to see how thick it was. It was about 6 ft thick! I'll post photos if I can get some off my aunty. There's some of the gorgeous views over the sea too.

Once the Americans had taken more photos than you could shake a USB stick at (yes, their camera is digital, and I am clever!), we headed back into civilisation. I say civilisation, because Belfast has shops, and shops =a desirable place to live. We didn't spend too long there though, as the oldies were tired from all the walking. I did manage to get my hands on sweeties though, really old ones like shrimps and milions. It was one of those sweetshops that has the sweets in jars all round the edges. I haven't seen one of those in years!

Once i'd squirrelled away my purchases, we jumped back in the car and dropped them off with the people they were staying with. Then it was a quick stop at the chinese to prevent our bellies from complaining, and home to a Molly who went absolutely mad to see me.

And that's it, oh so avid reader. Substitute avid for bored, if it fits better. I suspect it might! Now, go and enjoy that good country air. Oh, watch out for that elephant!